Subject:   [adventure!] Somewhat grumpy update.

Date:   12/17/2003 4:09:04 PM

 

 

Folks,

 

My friend and former roommate Ugur is from Turkey. When we would have a

conversation in the living room, if the TV was on I would put it on mute.

Ugur thought this was strange. Later in our friendship, Ugur started

smoking. I thought that was strange. Only now do I realize how European my

former roommate is.

 

When European people want to have a conversation, they are required by

ancient tradition to turn on a television, crank it up to full volume, and

chain-smoke. If they are in a location with no TV, they are expected to

imagine that a TV is blasting beside them, and yell their entire

conversation over the imaginary television. Usually they imagine a Spanish

talk show, which is particularly hard to talk over at full volume.

Especially while chain-smoking.

 

I am sick. The reason I´m sick is because I haven´t slept for the past 3

nights (I´m sure Dad is cringing right now). Two of these nights´ lost

sleep can be accredited to what can only be descibed as malicious snoring.

The first night was in Granada. After two or three hours of comically loud

snoring, unabated by my kicking the offender´s bed, he had apparently

exacted his revenge upon us[1] and quietly slept (as did the rest of us)

from 6 am until about 8.

 

The other incident was last night in Algecieras. This snoring was not

comical. This was the kind of snoring where, even though you can look over

and see that the noises are coming from a human being, each snore brings

with it a visceral fear akin to what one might feel when upon realizing that

they are standing between a grizzly bear and her cubs. At death-defyingly

sporadic intervals, this mere human would emit sounds that none of you would

recognize as human. The icing on this poisoned cake was that he made these

sounds both on inhaling AND exhaling! There were at least two occasions

where I almost vomited from these sounds.

 

Before anyone suggests earplugs, let me just say 'ha!'. I have earplugs,

but sadly they are not made of kryptonite.

 

I won´t go into too much detail on the other night of lost sleep, but it

involved me being strenuously (and hit on by an older homosexual gentleman

in Malaga and saved by a British guy and his Spanish girlfriend who invited

me to their place for 'tea', which is a Spanish word that means 'come up to

our apartment, drink wine with us and talk about politics until 6:30 am'.

 

Now that I think of it, Ugur used to drink tea and stay up all night too!

Damn these Europeans!

 

Tonight, I am in Algecieras again, after a day trip to Gibraltar to buy a

French-English dictionary and an English-language guide to Morocco, which is

where I´m headed tomorrow, sick or healthy. Oh, and tonight I have splurged

the 13 euros for a single room with no snoring roommates. I hope I can

sleep over the TV.

 

Hasta luego et bon nuit!

jay

 

 

[1] presumably for some sort of ´original sin´ or something.